TROY'S REVIEW: Tut, tut - if we are to believe the output of IFD Films and Arts and Filmark International, then it seems that as IN regards criminal activities, ninjas have their fingers in more pies than an average baker! Lo and behold, as shown in this entry, it seems that they have even cornered the lucrative market for illegal human organ farming too! Fear not though, for Interpol are on hand to save the day and resolve to send in a ninja of their own to sort matters out with predictably hilarious results. Cue a plethora of gross over-acting, pants voiceover work and the sort of atrocious editing that renders the film more disjointed than a person that has hit the ground after leaping from a 30 story building and you have a good idea as to the quality of this film. Yes, it's awesome & inept fun from start to glorious end! I've also got to say here that no review of this film would be complete without special mention of the grand finale in this, whereby the viewer would do well to take careful note that when dispatching of evil ninjas, be sure to stand well back, for they are highly explosive!

Never claiming it's presenting an alternate truth behind the death of Bruce Lee, we nonetheless have our plot starting once he has passed away at the hospital. There the Special Bureau Of Investigations (SBI) and a professor (John Benn - The Way Of The Dragon) sets in motion their plan to...clone Bruce Lee! Or rather make Bruce Lee copies that take shape in the form of Bruce Le, Dragon Lee and Bruce Lai. Following every command of their papa professor after being hatched in his groovy lab (disco lights seems to be his sole light source), they are sent out on undercover assassination missions so it was a crackin' idea to clone Lee into copies then! As you can understand, this hokey exercise attempts little class and is obviously a disrespectful attempt at respecting the legend but having said that, parts of The Clones Of Bruce Lee are a hoot (and it's possibly the best concept hatched out of any Bruceploitation effort). Although less so as we move along but the Thailand adventure gives us gratuitous nudity in spades, gold warriors manufactured by yet another mad professor but poisonous plants become the Bruce's weapons against these and finally, the clones square off against each other! Bolo Yeung also appears.

Kirk Wong's debut film and also an aim to give audiences a rarely seen, realistic glimpse of triad life and activities, with the night club businesses at its center. It's birds, booze, brawls and once a triad Michael Chan in his underwear. Interesting isn't an area Wong ever reaches though and only time some real teeth is shown comes during a few of the action set pieces. But even those get tiring by the end and while the filmmakers may have favoured realism all throughout, The Club won't make anyone miss this era of Hong Kong nightlife. There are far better genre efforts from the time as well (see Cops And Robbers). Norman Tsui, Phillip Ko and Kent Cheng co-stars.

TROY'S REVIEW: "The masters of mayhem - the ninja, are terrorizing the city and it's up to Cobra to stop them dead in their tracks. It's guns vs. blades, wits vs. guts and man vs. myth in this action epic! No man is safe from the ninja - unless you're Cobra! Brace yourself for a non stop killing machine of a movie!" (Synopsis taken from the back of the box)

So wrote some imbecile who had quite obviously never viewed the film in question! In fact, in this cut & paste ninja outing, far from being the hero, the eponymous Cobra (as played typically ineptly by bad acting deity Stuart Smith) is the film's villain who is running high stake bets on the combative outcomes of various ninja duels involving the Red Champion (fellow IFD regular Richard Harrison). By some supreme editing "magic", this unrelated tale is woven somewhat less than seamlessly into a veritably mundane Filipino crime flick. Nonetheless, is there anyone out there who actually pays much attention to the original films into which the newer ninja segments are edited anyway? Of course not! No it's the ninja shenanigans that we've all come to laugh at - erm, I mean view.

Watch out for the scene at the very start in which a frankly embarrassed looking Harrison shouts the word 'Ninjaaaaaaaaaa' at the top of his (dubbed) voice. You almost want to give the poor chap a pat on the back and tell him that starring in such films will in no way have any detrimental effect upon his subsequent acting career...er...whoops!
Also be sure to check out the amazing manner in which our ninja pals put on their hoods. It's a case of jumping up in the air and spinning around at super speed after which they land, miraculously fully masked (and ostensibly not even dizzy). Erm... wouldn't it have been simpler to just pull them over their heads? Special mention must also go to the very nifty, pounding (and very stolen!) soundtrack that backs all the ninja action up. Great fun and well worth tracking down for all fans of cut & paste ninja action.

Buy the DVD at:
HK Flix.com

KENNETH'S REVIEW: "Let's hear it for the boys in red!" Yep, it's war times with Chinese against those pesky Vietnamese, set to your age old upbeat score and propaganda can be smelled miles away indeed. Directors Leung Chi-Keung and Jeu Aau got their mission clear, to portray a select crew of bloodied heroes fighting for their families and country on the battlefield but don't think for a second outside viewers (me being waaaay outside) can engage much emotionally. No, spectacle is the name of the game, which the dual directors manages to find out in their quest to celebrate the nation too. So a healthy dose of war-gore, LOUD war-mayhem (archival footage doesn't detract as such as a matter of fact) passes the time adequately and the English dub feels suitably IFD-ish (but Joseph Lai has nothing to do with the flick) with character names such as Carol, Ronny and Larry.

Not enough quality material, charisma but steam accompanies this Clifton Ko production. Director Roman Cheung has many facets to portray when relationships go the living together-route (instead of straight to marriage as any family elder would like to see be the choice). Enter a difficult transition as characters make up house rules, have sex quite a lot and develop an uncertainty after jealousy has done its part. Cheung does not have not the skills to develop further and the attractive acting quartet of Kenneth Chan, Anita Lee, David Wu and Jacqueline Law are even combined, average screen presences. So Cheung resorts to an age old attention grabber via the multiple Category II rated sex scenes and that should tell you a lot where Cohabitation ends up in terms of critical respect. Also with Michael Tong and Chan Suk-Yee (as the male character Mrs. Gay. Wong Jing subtlety on display here).

Buy the DVD at:
HK Flix.com
Yesasia.com

Minute amusement comes out of Eric Tsang's action-comedy that sees Andy Lau and Tony Leung Chiu-Wai as part of a training squad for the special branch of the police. Acting generally silly and exactly like they want to, it's a wonder they're even kept in the team but Tsang is more interested in the sophomoric humour during this training part of the narrative. At least it is funny in parts, proving that Tsang is more adept at this than Wong Jing is but when the film switches to Lau going undercover to catch a triad boss (Frankie Chan), the film stops dead. Some minute audience investment here comes during the small forays into action but Come Fly The Dragon ultimately is a poor showcase for the great stars Lau and Leung. Also with Fennie Yuen, Miu Kiu Wai, Shing Fui On, Ben Lam and Norman Chu, who is simply born to play a hard ass drill sergeant.

Completed in 2004 but not released until the year after when director Lu Xuechang (Cala, My Dog!) reportedly finally found a distributor for his low-budget movie, this is turning out to be a director more destined for overseas love despite his focus continuing to be on characters on the lower end of the scale of Chinese society. Guo Jia Ju (Pan Yue-Ming) is living life in the big city of Beijing. Being a slight introvert, having a failed business under wraps and in debt to loan sharks, he now has to face up to tradition by going back to his home village with a fiancee. Especially so since his father has had a stroke and always expressed his deepest wish to see his son married. By coincidence, Guo meets hooker Lili (Li Jian-Xuan) and strikes a deal with her to act as his future wife...

If it sounds like Can't Buy Me Love Chinese style, you wouldn't be off but Lu Xuechang (who also co-wrote and cast actors from his prior A Lingering Face) basically flirts with a lot, including the on paper, conventional premise. Farce-like in nature, threatening to turn violent but also playing out low-key drama in the beautiful village vistas, main theme concerns synching and connecting to your traditions again or for the first time. Lili is definitely an example of poor choice and planning then as she hasn't got the hang of traditional wedding ceremonies even. But the break from noise provides these characters with a breakdown. In the case of Guo, his bow of respect towards his parents may be fake but they're still the utmost crucial thing in his life at this point. Without that, he's empty. Lili, while not seemingly uncomfortable in her line of profession, dreams of opening a beauty salon but it's again the break from city people that has these characters crash together. Serious concerns all round really but Lu stays suitably observational, low-key and even fragmented narrative-wise. A cool and welcome choice. The Contract isn't as biting as Cala, My Dog! but is definitely on par with The Making Of Steel. Lu immerses us via actors, scenery, themes and continues an interesting path as a Mainland filmmaker.

Buy the DVD at:
Yesasia.com

Traffic cop Wong (Anthony Wong) dreams of being the cool supercop and gets his chance after a night of drinking with cop and childhood friend Johnny (Bowie Lam). Johnny is mysteriously gone the next day, leaving only his cell phone behind and it immediately starts ringing. It seems Johnny is connected to a recent robbery by Mainlanders and Wong, having acquired skills in investigating, uses his time off to pose as a cop and crack the case. He tracks down Johnny's girlfriend Linda (Linda Wong) and the triad Dee (Andy Hui) becomes his informer in the quest to solve the mystery that is Johnny...

Herman Yau offers up no surprising developments as a director through this action-comedy but again proves that he has an ability to make Anthony Wong blossom under his direction. Wong has also stated that working with Yau has generated some of his own personal favourite films (Taxi Hunter being one). He's a riot as the very skilled, in theory, action hero but real life tends to be different from the movies, leading to some very fun action sequences where heroic moves just don't go down as well compared to when Chow Yun-Fat performs them. The movie references throughout can get a little tiring but mostly Yau creates an amusing aura in Cop Image that entertains in a very solid way. Also with Lau Kong and Herman Yau himself appears briefly in the disco scene.