TROY'S REVIEW: Not to be confused with IFD's similarly titled Golden Ninja Warrior, this Filmark International production gets off to a cracking start with some poor chap having the crap knocked out of him before his assailants amputate his right hand on a circular saw bench! Ouch! Ok, first thing to note is that the on-screen credits are actually entirely incorrect. Great start eh?! In actual fact this stars everyone's favourite Z-grade actor Stuart Smith (who despite looking painfully skinny insists on spending much of the film in a vest!) in the newer ninja segments and Filipino superstar and regular in these flicks, Sorapong Chatri who was the poor bugger getting his hand abruptly removed in violent style. Anyway, onto the film itself, which details the nefarious Red Sun Ninja Organization, which is run by a shady looking guy called Mr. Warren who likes to wear a panama hat and sunglasses for reasons best known to himself. It transpires that it was this evil fellow who ordered Ritchie (Chatri) to be 'taught a lesson'. And how is our poor Ritchie after his ordeal? Well, strangely enough he's better than ever after his police boss issues him a new 'magic hand' (no, I'm not making this up either) Yes, said bionic appendage is apparently constructed of a flexible Uranium and Titanium alloy and responds to Ritchie's mental commands just like a real hand. Needless to say, our man wastes no time at all in putting his new found toy to good use in destroying the Red Sun organization. Meanwhile Paul (played surprisingly subtly here by our man Smith), the good, sapphire Ninja also gets in on the act to help bring down the evil ninjas. As you can probably well imagine, plenty of chop cocky action ensues, some of it rather pleasantly gory in fact. Check out for instance, the resulting physical damage and rather cool metal 'twang' sound effects that accompanies the blows whenever Ritchie punches an opponent. Best bit of all though is the very daft ending. Just remember folks, only ninjas can use magic ninja beans! You'll really need to watch this to understand the complete absurdity of the scene but suffice to say, it will have you in absolute hysterics for sure.

A change of appearance coming from Joseph Lai and IFD but yet not. Having acquired a bad film filled with hokey ninja shenanigans present already, Golden Ninja Warrior looks like the easiest job the usual personnel involved ever had to do as it's all in the re-dubbing fun where the plot (usually needing an ending tag to its description that goes "or something like that") is created. Strangely enough, as the original film dominates, detailing golden ninja Sherri's need for revenge and the parallel mission in which Michael has to bring back the legendary golden ninja status to China, matters actually do cohere a few notches more than usual coming from IFD (normally, nothing is decipherable) but the very beginning has Lai acting as someone reading over your shoulder and turning the page before we've even caught a glimpse of what's going on. Oh well, our heroine Sherri knows what she's doing as she enters a bordello posing as a prostitute and later on as a model. In between multiple scenes of whipping, sex, rape and poor to fairly sharp choreography, the original filmmakers overall more adheres to the hokey nature of an IFD concoction. Especially so in the crazy film speeds present in the ninja fight scenes and the reasoning why it's better at times to fight sans ninja costume and sometimes with, within the same scene. One shall not forget that heat-seeking knives and ninja stars adds to a wacky sense of fun, provided both visually by our original "geniuses" and Joseph Lai's dubbing team. Sans ninja-headbands and with re-cycled Richard Harrison footage for about a minute of the opening, Golden Ninja Warrior lets its victim play on its own but earns a deserved place in this wonderfully reeking catalogue of films.

Known under all manner of titles such as Amazon Commandos and Jackie Chan's Crime Force (with nothing of Jackie to be seen in the film), whatever shameless violation have been taken with the film since then, Taiwan's b-movie "king" Chu Yen-Ping's desire to do a Dirty Dozen adventure/women in prison flick/spaghetti western/James Bond actioner gets blended together in a time warp of a movie, creating a true "original" in the process. Ed Wood-esque in his eye for logic, Chu's choices will borderline on genius depending on the viewer you are. It's all in the goofy details.

Brigitte Lin equipped with a wooly hat and eye patch (gear she wears phenomenally well) leads a crack team of nutty, gorgeous women, including Sally Yeh as an explosive expert and Elsa Yeung as an assassin hiding behind a bible. The latter sports a character design straight of the 1980s, despite the film apparently taking place in the 1940s and it's this 500% disregard for movie logic (Chinese prison guards in SS uniforms) in a schlocky piece such as this that makes Golden Queen's Commando so damn entertaining. You're very much on board to find out what madness Chu plans, what nutty words are going to come out of the English dubbing (not Chu's choices obviously) and which composer he's lifting atmospheric music from next. Ennio Morricone's scores have always seemed to have an easy time fitting into Asian cinema such as this though. The above is what this reviewer will get out of the film, being only a fairly seasoned cinema fanatic but knowing Chu Yen-Ping's knack for copying scenes of other films beat for beat (see Island Of Fire), there's probably a full chest of additional treasures to be uncovered. You should allows yourself to have that kind of fun because I do know this, Chu Yen-Ping is clearly honoring movies he loves, in an incredible sincere way.

Golden Swallow (Cheng Pei-Pei) has retreated after being nursed back to health by swordsman Han Tao (Lo Lieh). She faces a great emotional challenge as childhood friend Silver Roc (Jimmy Wang Yu) is entering her life again, leaving trails of bodies behind him...

Cheng Pei-Pei reprises her Golden Swallow character from King Hu's Wuxia classic Come Drink With Me, now being part of the male world of heroism that Chang Cheh came to fame portraying. That is why Cheng does feel slightly pushed aside in favour of the Jimmy Wang Yu and Lo Lieh's characters but rumour has it that Chang was prepared to push Cheng Pei-Pei even more to the wayside initially. Cheng fought successfully to be more part of Golden Swallow and the film does achieve a finely tuned balance that doesn't sacrifice any trademarks of Chang Cheh's.

Initially a slow, even cliché, love triangle is painted in extensive amounts of blood by Chang (who also co-wrote) but he manages to turn Golden Swallow into a remarkably felt drama where the choice of quiet emoting from character rises the film to affecting levels. The trio of actors all respond to this and even Jimmy Wang Yu's anti-hero gets a plight the audience can understand, all culminating in a vivid gory climax.

Chang Cheh's usual action directors of choice, Lau Kar Leung and Tong Gaai, offers up fight scenes that certainly are products of their time, meaning crude executions of various elements. However some skirmishes involving Wang Yu achieve an admirable fluidity and the classic action duo's work connects very well to the storytelling, making anyone accustomed to the latter day fight choreography quickly forget about any slow aspects. Chiu Sam Yin and Wu Ma co-stars while Ku Feng, David Chiang, Yuen Cheung Yan and Lau Kar Leung briefly appear.

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Shot in Hong Kong and Thailand, it's opium wars reigning with those growing the crop trying to make a living and not have it end up in the hands of drug smugglers. Lo Lieh plays one such hired by Tien Feng's gang to acquire the latest opium batch that is guarded by Tanny Tien's character. A possible undercover cop exists in one of the camps too. Strung together in the dullest of ways, endless scenery shots, stiff action and lack of at least decent pace sinks the only mild ambitions The Golden Triangle seemed to have anyway. Tien Feng is stereotypical evil and Lo Lieh the cool drug smuggler but those favourite performers can only provide mild, very sporadic spark. One shootout at the end redeems Lo Lieh a little though.

KENNETH'S REVIEW: Three pickpockets (Lau Ga-Yung, Lee Hoi-San & Mang Chiu) do their damndest to get hold of a gold treasure circulating around town. It's just a matter of finding the right box and keep out of harms way of others who wants the riches. Greed, murder and undercranked comedy follows as well as the Jackie Chan stamp on the action so The Gold-Hunters can't fail that miserably beforehand. Not in any way a long lasting classic, seeing Lee Hoi-San being part of the light, wacky lead trio is a fun change of pace and a handful of scenes are quite clever. In one we see the trio re-enact a fight that contained written clues and the fake fighting in a local whorehouse registers. Obviously with the involved logging a high level of competence and the Jackie Chan's Stuntmen Association making sure the choreography is intricate while also utilizing props, the film scores sufficiently and adds very little violence to top it all off. Fung Hak-On, Wilson Tong, Tai Po and Wu Ma also appear.

KENNETH'S REVIEW: Presented by Tomas Tang's Filmark merely (i.e. no ninjas as that idea was not yet at the forefront), this Thai/UK production runs way too long and takes itself seriously to the point where it becomes way too uneventful. But unintentional hilarity and decent sized mayhem will have B-movie lovers finding some slight charms to cherish. John Banner (Robert Ginty - The Exterminator) leads a team of soldiers into enemy territory to retrieve a major shipment of gold that has gone done with its cargo plane. Along the way he reconnects with an old flame and fires on hordes of stuff. We need oozes of camp and we're rarely near it, which is a problem imposed on us by director Philip Chalong but pieces scattered throughout are worthwhile. Hear the English language track still make the point that Thai people and Americans don't understand each other, see poor special effects galore in the form of the biggest fish in the pond, vampire bats, a wonderfully dubbed, one-legged General, John Banner's very American-made missile motorbike/hang glider and "serious drama" concerning friends divided by politics. It all even ends with what was attempted to amount to a poignant speech about the hopelessness of it all but caps a hokey experience its audience would want to endure. It certainly is slicker than Filmark's own productions so I bet Tang and co. were proud. Also known as Fire Game.

In her debut Outside The Window (1973), Brigitte Lin played a schoolgirl engaged in forbidden love with her teacher. The second on-screen appearance in Gone With The Cloud puts her next to someone similarly aged but it's still a romance, between Lee Chung-Liang (Lin) and Shanming (Gu Ming-Lun), not approved by each respective family. Standing on traditions and notions of face, these are choices that leads to ache rather than bright, secure futures. Characters such as Chung-Liang's sister Di Di (the incredibly beautiful Tong Bo-Wan), who is taking care of the family all by herself, are among the ones taking a hard beating after taking part in this decision...

One tradition Gone With The Cloud also stands on is the tools of the trade of the Taiwan melodrama and it's something that strikes back at Steven Lau's film to a degree. Appearing quite calculated in its usage of repetitive sound cues to represent a dramatic beat and theme songs to speak of the emotion on-screen, in fact Lau has an interesting tragedy to speak of. Certainly showing more confidence when creating more cinematic flourishes the darker the drama becomes, Lau easily slips into (and often) the over the top gear as well. Sometimes the moments visually are suitably subtle but blasting on the audio we still get rampant voice over and more songs (accompanied by a montage at times too). Narrative-wise it takes a while to get past the talky nature, Brigitte Lin's nasty and mean character and the fact that she seems to change her opinion of Shanming fast but for somewhat seasoned viewers of the genre, Gone With The Cloud offer some compelling (darker) stretches of film, albeit more sporadic than one would like. Director Lau co-stars as Chung-Liang's brother in a sub-plot that largely feels like filler. Also with Guan Shan (The Tournament).

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